I will share 10 ways I have blown it as a PWS mom. (I blow it as a “regular mom” all the time, too, by the way.)
We, as parents and caregivers of a child or adult child with Prader-Willi syndrome, are all trying our best to provide what our special peeps need. We read, we research, we go to endless appointments, we read newsletters like this, we attend behavior training sessions, we follow food schedules and life schedules and implement car rules and safe eating rules, AND WE REALLY TRY to maintain a calm environment. We desire for our child (all our children) to succeed as best they can. And we are working so very hard. Hard. All the time.
Then we blow it. Or at least I do. Here are the 10:
- I lost my cool. I yelled at Ryan.
- I rewarded with food (the whole family).
- I gave in to a tantrum.
- I triggered a tantrum with my impatience with the 583rd question of the day. (Or was that 983rd?)
- I did not monitor calories.
- I did not do proper priming before an activity or event or change in schedule, and therefore paid the price with a tantrum.
- I used negative consequences (took away his beloved CD player) even though they don’t work. (And I know they don’t work.)
- I gave up on the token system because I was sick of having to be uber –consistent with it, month after month.
- Used a threat to motivate him to do what I needed him to do.
- Are we at #10 yet? You get the idea…
When I make these mistakes from time to time, hopefully not all in one day, I beat myself up horribly and feel that darn mommy guilt. Again. The guilt monkey sitting on my shoulder loves to taunt and berate me to no end. And I accept it for a little while. Then I tell myself, we all do it. We all make mistakes. Yes, even the ones who seem to have it all together and tell you they “never ever yell” at their kids.
We must give ourselves a little grace once in a while. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world with an imperfect family dynamic going on. Why do we (or just me) need to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves to NEVER EVER make a mistake as we parent? Do we need to beat on ourselves over and over? I think not my friends.
GRACE. Give yourselves some today. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and move on. Know that you are, that we are, absolutely making a difference in our children’s lives despite mishaps and blunders. OH YES, WE ARE.